My Heart Burns for me to be Normal.

Normal.

1.

conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

2.

serving to establish a standard.


To not have much wrong with you, for your mind to go with the flow.

Not to have countless amounts of worries, insecurities, etc.

To have a family that is the perfect example of one, kind, and loving eachother regardless.

For my mind to think, like someone my age would think.

mmm.


i wish my mind wasnt as mature.
self cautious. alert.

Will I ever learn?
Why im so mentally different.
Why is my life. . .complicated.
Why Im like this.

Is this what builds self hatred? being different.
I mean, its great to be different.
but not always.

God, please help me understand myself.

My Heart Burns for me to be Normal.

Fear.

An emotional response to a perceived threat.

I fear. . .

That I will loose people, who are in my everyday life.

That I will one day forget people, who i love so dearly.

That I will discover truth, in things that I do not want to.

That my life will not go as planned.

That somehow I will not make it to heaven.

That time will go by too fast.

But i have to remind myself that

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage..."

mmm.

God please let me overcome some of my fears.

"...God is our refuge and strength,an ever-present help in trouble..."

STOP TALKING ABOUT LOVE ANDREW!

Sometimes, I dislike love?


Not the unconditional kind of love i have for most human beings.

The kind that leaves you hurting.

Giving your heart the feeling of hopelessness.



mmmmm.

blah.

I liked this quote.
it's true.

BLAH. BLAH.

i need to stop writing about love.


Im too young.













WELL.
THATS ALL MY HEART IS.
i think.










love.

No Namer.

My heart, looks like this.


I saw Strawburry17 do something like this, it made me wonder how mines looked.


My Heart



...guarded, in a large rectangular prism, blocking, and completely repelling and demolishing any sort of relationship ready to leave my heart broken and annihilated. The walls are there to protect me...


I wish, I didnt have those walls, and that my heart wasnt guarded.

wait.

Be realistic. . . . Come on Andrew.



You know in the end, you will end up hurt.
the guards are just trying to help.



My words are pure nonsense.


-_______-

My Page.

feels very blank.



empty.








hmph.
LOL.


JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT. :P

A day in life.

It was 2am or 3am. . . I FORGOT. anyways.
After feeling very nauseous.

I threw up.
ALOT.
LIKE.
ALOT.
ALOT.

And it sucked. LOL.

I thought i was going to die.

So when I awoke I was better, but a bad stomach ache.
PRAISE GOD FOR MEDICINE.

Watched...
THE BACK UP PLAN.
good movie :)

ate IN-N-OUT.
not bad.

........................



I BLAME ROUND TABLE FOR MY FOOD POISONING.
>:(